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Like my tits

Every year summer comes, and pornoinfantilfree as quick you can panic-buy a fan in your local supermarket lest you physically melt, it's over again.

Please Stop Staring at My Tits, I Am So Warm

Time, however, is a sneaky little fuck, because tits it is July again, and you are going about your business trying to deal with the fact that: If you are a person with breasts, you decide that probably the best way to address the whole having-flesh-sacks-attached-to-your-upper-torso-in-furnace-weather thing is to wear something comfortable.

Something that — and I apologise for this regrettably nan-like turn of phrase — "lets the air get at you". You pick a small T-shirt and a pair of shorts, or maybe a dress, because you would like to remain more human than puddle. Maybe you omit a bra if you can, for the simple reason that having a fabric cage around your tits is not ideal during a heatwave. And then, as soon as you step out the door, some fucking man directs his eyes right at your chest, and they linger there for a few seconds.

Do you like my tits?

You watch him looking, and he continues to do it as he walks past you. A few more steps tits the street, another man does the same thing. Despite the fact you are merely trying to function as a person in the fat prno tree, your body is now, fundamentally, a sexual object for public consumption.

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It's a sad phenomenon, and one that makes you feel alternately self-conscious, worthless and angrier than the lad who drove a digger into a Travelodge. This may be a very Lena Dunham sentiment, but when you consider that men strip off their polo shirts to reveal like sunburn as soon as it hits about 18 degrees, I would like to be able to go to Sainsbury's for a brief spot of Sticking My Head In The Freezer without being leered at.

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The thing is, I have a suspicion that most of the leerers would probably be put off if they knew how disgusting having boobs in the summer is, especially in a city, where humidity and like are tits unusually high. Having boobs in the summer like like managing a difficult client. The tits are on their own sweating schedule that schedule is usually: